PRESEASON REFRESHER COURSE

 To best prepare yourself for the sailing season, try these quick exercises:

1. Buy a case of beer, place it in a very warm place for a few hours, then drink it.

2. Apply sunscreen to your face in streaks and sit in front of a sun lamp for 2 hours.

3. Sit on a bench with a large metal fixtures cutting into your legs, stare straight up into the sun

   for two hours-for a more robust workout: invite 4 friends to come over and yell at you the whole time.

4. Go out and get very drunk, sleep 4 hours, then stand on a rocking chair for 6 hours.

5. Go to the bank and withdraw $1,000 - then light it on fire.

6. Sit in front of a commercial fan and have someone throw large buckets of salt water on you.

7. Repeat number 6 in jeans and a sweatshirt and/or repeat number 6 head turned sideways to

   ensure water logging fully into ear drum.

8. Cut limb off nearby tree, tie ropes to it, stand on rocking chair with tree limb and ropes - hold them over

   your head for 3 hrs at 5 minute intervals drop on your head

        - more robust version: have friends yell at you in 6 minute intervals.

9. Set your wrist watch to 5-minute repeating counts. let it go off all day long.

10. Pour cold water in your lap and give yourself a wedgie, now alternate between sitting and running around bent over.

11. Tie ropes between 2 trees - push your body against them as hard as you can for 6 consecutive hours

        - don't stop for pain or bruising.

12. Place sandpaper on your stairs, crawl up and down on your knees several hours.

13. Tie ropes to rear bumper of friend's car, hold on tightly, but allow rope to slip through fingers as car drives away

        TIP: works best with nylon fiber ropes, lengths in excess of 50'.

14. Place 4 layers of clothing on your body and pee inside.

15. Make 12 sandwiches on white bread with bad meat and cram them all > in a bread bag - eat one a day for

   12 consecutive days.. Make sure the last one is peanut butter and jelly if preparing for race week.

16. Upon completion of previous 15 drills - sit down and drink 12 Mt. Gay Rum drinks, any flavor.